Penance
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I kept telling myself: not this one. Please not this child. Of all things you have already devoured, please not this one, too.
As that child stared at me with a frightened gaze as I continue to bleed dry their mother in front of them, I made sure to keep the predator eyes that I knew I had, fixed upon their little body.
It is my punishment; my penance for trying to defy fate. This child was supposed to die. And because I was selfish, and felt this child deserved more of a chance than they had been given, I tried to save her. I only wished to help… so now, why? Why has it come to this?
I drop the thirtieth body from my arms, and it lands on the wooden floor with a loud thud. Her kimono is ripped to shreds around her neck and chest, and her blood has spilt over from the wounds on her neck and onto the skirt of her kimono.
Another one is dead… and now only one remains…
“You are all going to perish…” I whisper hatefully.
She looks at me… the same way she had in the forest when I murdered my first victim. She was terrified then, and she is terrified now. And I love the fact that she smells of fear. I had let her escape me once. And I’m not about to let it happen again.
I snatch her by the collar of her kimono, and yank her forward into the stream of light pouring in from the door. Her eyes are filled with fresh tears, and her face is all red from crying and being scared.
“Why?” she questions.
A grimace crosses my face before I throw my arm behind me, dragging her little body with it, and tossing her like a doll into the archway.
“Run…” I command her when she turns to look at me. When she refuses to move, I suddenly turn around. “Run!”
A second later, she jumps to her feet, running as fast as her little legs would allow.
Why do they always ask why? What difference would it make if I actually answered that I am doing it because I want to? Would it make them happy to know a reason? Why should I even care? They are merely nothing, but food to me. They quench the burn in my throat, and the loud ringing in my ears, and the troublesome tunnel vision in my eyes. They all deserve their fates, just like I deserved mine.
I could hear her footsteps clearly like she was still in the room with me before I get to my feet, and step out into the sun slowly. It’s bright, and warm, and always inviting. Just like so many other times I had stepped out into the sun; it was always so inviting and gentle. The breeze blows softly, causing the bell on the red ribbon I tie my hair back in the middle to jingle quietly. And all the while I enjoy the warm sun on my skin, the gentle breeze pushing against my body, and the bright blue sky overhead, the yearn for blood is still there. I wanted that little girl. And I wanted to take her blood now.
I can see her running across the dirt field, heading to the small river cutting between the middle of the village. With a hateful, cruel, and menacing smile, I walk slowly at first. Why rush to have a meal when I can take my time to get to it? I knew I would catch her so I was in no hurry to take what is mine. Seeing her trip and fall at the hill of the river, I take in a deep breath of the air as her blood taints it deliciously from possibly cutting herself as she fell.
So sweet… Like the smell of a freshly cut fruit.
As I watch her stand up to continue running, I became weary of the cat-and-mouse game that in the instant that I smelt her blood, I let my inhuman abilities of speed suddenly take over in order for me to appear in front of her. As if I had just walked, I stare down at her with an expressionless face. She is finally mine, and the smell of her blood hitting my face stronger, entices me further, causing my mouth to water profusely.
Before she even had a chance to run away again, I grab her by the back of her kimono, and we tumble into the water of the river together, splashing it everywhere, as she flails against my strength.
My hair sticks to my face from it being drenched as I twist and turn her in my arms and lap before pinning that little girl’s arms behind her, and pulling at her kimono to expose her neck.
And she never once screamed. Even as my fangs dig deep into her neck, and her blood flowing easily into my mouth, she never once screamed in pain, fright, or anything. All I could hear was the soft hics she made as she cried as she waited for death to take her as she sat on my lap, and awkwardly embraced in my arms as she digs her nails into my hands that hold hers behind her.
My hands leave her wrists from behind her back as I feel her become heavier, and her breathing become more ragged. She grips the front of my kimono right with her last bit of strength. I wrap one arm around to the back of her head, placing my hand in her soaked hair, and wrap my other arm around her little body, placing my hand on her bare shoulder as I tilt her head further to the side. She’s becoming cold, and limp as I continue to pull harder on her neck. And she finally came to terms with the fact that she was going to die.
“I am sorry,” she wheezed. “I am sorry for… you becoming what you are… because of me…”
Her hand that grasped tightly at the front of my priestess kimono that has been tainted with the blood of thirty-one victims drops to her side, her palm facing up in my lap. As I hear her take her last breath, I release her neck to reveal two wounds where my fangs had pierced through her flesh.
I could feel the shock on my face. I could feel my brows furrow in despair as my mouth hangs slightly open in shock. And even though droplets of water caused ripples in the surface of the water of my reflection, I can see my blood socked face in the river. And all that my face radiated was pain, confusion, hate, anger, despair, among many other emotions. I don’t even recognize my own face. My once Opal colored eyes that change depending on how the sun hits them, are a bright, ravenous raspberry color. Blood dripped down my chin and down my neck from savagely taking people’s blood. And now hers…
I watch as my eyes return to their normal opal coloring, and I gently crush this little, lifeless body to my own, wishing that I could take everything back that has happened in the last hour. I became what I am now so she could live. And now I was the one who took that second breath of life away from her.
Hisoka…
Quiet sobs escape my lips as I hide my face in her pale neck that feels ice cold.
That day… I learned not to defy fate. This child I now cradle in my arms was meant to die. Our lives; our destines are preordained from the moment of our birth. We merely take side roads until we reach our destination. I knew that. I followed that line of belief. And I told it. And there I was, using my powers to save her because I felt she deserved it even though her fate was to die. And thus, I turned into a monster because of my selfishness. And now… here she is again before me… only this time… she is dead… and by my own hand.
What have I done…?
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